Have you ever had to take mental health days from work? You know, sometimes you wake up and you just don’t feel right and you know that the worst thing you could do for yourself is subject yourself to more stress?
Now if you’ve taken these days, how much guilt do you end up having? I tend to struggle with a lot of it.
I’m in the minority of people who has a workplace that’s actually very supportive of mental health and ways that you need to nurture your mental health. However, I’ve also been part of workplaces that were not so supportive. I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum, and unfortunately it’s really hard to break that fear of potentially losing your job because you have a mental health issue.
The trouble with this situation is that coupling your fear and guilt about taking care of your mental health with struggling with your mental health currently is that both of those things time to beat each other up a little bit. So how do you take the time to handle your mental health crisis when the time you’re taking outside of work or other commitments is also leading to more mental health-related struggles?
I’m also lucky to have resources that I can utilize today to cope with today and work towards being able to get through tomorrow. Sometimes you just need a day to not have responsibilities or commitments or duties to other people, and just be with yourself for yourself. I know that I needed that today.
How do I not feel guilty about that? Where I live we actually have laws protect us in the workplace so that we can’t be threatened with job loss because of a mental health issue. But how much does it suck that that’s not the case everywhere?
I’m happy I made the choice for me today. I needed sleep and to feel sad. I still feel pretty sad, but I’m going to try and get lots of sleep and have a more optimistic outlook on tomorrow.
I also have a pretty big appointment Friday that I am so nervous about. It’s a much need thing, and I’m planning on going more in depth about the other health issues I’ve been facing.
I’m not going to lie, I’m scared to go to work tomorrow. I always get scared I’m going to get fired for this stuff. I do not like missing work. I love working, my job is great, and putting my energy into work is usually a positive coping mechanism for me. But that fear is always lurking and saying to me that I’m going to get in trouble.
Thanks for reading this random stream of consciousness. I always feel better when I’m here.
I don’t know what the point of this post is; I think that I just had to get this out. I also know that it’s been a long time since I posted because there’s been a lot of other things I’ve had to take care of that have been more important. So sorry about that again.
I have a lot of things in the works for 2020 that I’m really excited about and I’m also really excited to share them with you.
Your friend, Alicia